To My Readers:
I have thought long and hard about what to say in this post, and after two weeks, I’m still no further ahead. So, I’m just going to say what’s on my mind and in my heart, and leave it at that.
This blog represents two years of my life. I spent countless hours researching and writing these posts, mostly into the very wee hours of the morning, Doing this work not only reawakened my mind and my imagination, it also put me back in touch with my sexuality/sexual identity. Due to all of that, I now am in school for LGBT Studies, and am re-entering the community actively next month. All of this has been the real payoff for me, and I am immensely indebted to X-Men and the films for helping me get back to where I belong.
I have not seen XMA, nor do I plan to. I became aware that there was no big Cherik moment or kiss when the film was released in Europe, etc on May 19th, and that the film had taken a lot of the character development routes I didn’t think they’d take. The level of heartbreak and guilt I’ve experienced over this has been fairly potent, and I’ve spent the last two weeks trying to work through that. It’s not just about a film/films to me, or about X-Men; it’s about heteronormativity, queer erasure, and subtext staying subtext when there’s no real need for it anymore. In short, queerbaiting. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been a bit out of touch with my sexuality, and out of the active community for a few years, that I expected more from XMA. In navigating and rediscovering my fluid sexuality/pansexuality, I’ve vividly recalled the times when I’d been gay bashed and experienced direct discrimination and bigotry, and in doing so, I’ve come full circle with the homophobic nature of society, and with Hollywood.
It’s with a heavy heart that I have to decided to not continue with any X-Men analyses, and will not be doing any posts on XMA. Should X-Men decide to take Cherik out of subtext in the future, or incorporate LGBT+ characters in the films, I’ll pick up where I left off. Until then, however, I have decided to move on and officially close this blog. To those of you who have asked if I will delete the X-Men work, the answer is no. It means more to me than just the films: it represents something precious and hard-won, and was the lens through which I saw the evolving LGBT+ community, which led me back into the desire for activism.
This is not to say I’ve given up hope, or faith. Not at all. If anything, it’s refueled my desire to bring to you all your culture, your films and shows, your books, and your history. You all deserve a place to immerse yourself in everything LGBTQIA+ when the outside world lets you down, and to be honest, I want the same thing. I do this not only for you and me, but for the people I’ll inevitably come across in my schooling and in my work.
I’ve met and talked with some beautiful people because of this blog, and your work, your words, and your encouragement meant more to me than I can ever express. There are a few of you writing XMA meta, and should you wish for me to share or reblog your posts, I’d be happy to do so.
I will eventually be moving all the X-Men archives to the new blog. I am still working on the template and the content for it, but since this letter represents my last post on this blog, I will go ahead and post the link at the bottom to Method Blue.
Also, as of today, I will be taking a break from the online world. I’m not entirely sure how long I’ll be gone, but it will probably be a while. There are many factors that led to this decision, and I need time to work through everything. A lot happened all at once, both personally and professionally. I need to focus instead on my schooling, my work, the community, my family, and the new blog. I will not be “active” on Tumblr (or Twitter) during this time, and have set the blog to queue. I may respond to tags, but will leave messages and PMs for when I return. I am, however, still actively accepting submissions/fanfic recommendations to the new blog, so please continue sending those. You may use the old blog email address (firstname.lastname@example.org) whilst it is still open, or the new email address (email@example.com). The latter is a private address, so if anything you send has personal content (including emails I’ve exchanged with a lot of you), please send it there.
I want to thank you all for 2 wonderful years. Thank you for accepting me into your fandom and your lives. I’ve had an absolute blast, and the work bore more fruit than I ever thought possible, even though we didn’t get a canon acknowledgment of Charles and Erik. I will always love Cherik, and I will always love X-Men. I see fandom as an active arm of social justice, filling in the immense cracks of the stories left behind by Hollywood, and bringing visibility to LGBT+ characters. Never stop doing that, ever.
Collectively, you are all Charles and Erik dragging Caspartina from the depths of the ocean.
I love you all very much. Thank you for everything.
Keep the Faith. Love is endgame.
(new blog: Method Blue)